adios??

hi.

should i delete my account?

i started this blog, hoping i could make some friends and jus as a general stress reliever. but i don't think i'm good at it. ok, i suck butt. there is no real theme for my blog. well, at first i was jus going to do nail art, but since it's my profession, i hate it. lol. i like the artistic and creative aspect, but i hate doing nails--and i haven't done my nails at all lately, even tho i haven't worked in months. i have over 100 bottles of polish too...so this blog was jus going to be a bit of everything. i would do makeup, bc i own tons of it, but it's really nothing new, i'm not an expert compared to all i've seen--those girls out there are awesome!! mine is really boring. and i've been cooking like a mad woman lately, singledom and all. it seems like i only remember my blog when i'm feeling dead or stressed. lol.

DEE's ISSUE~~> and the reason for my stress is...final exams. i don't kno if it's this new university or i'm being punished. i have 6 finals, plus reg quizes, exams, papers, and projects in between. HULLO!! it's the end of the semester, get rid of all the other side dishes, and jus stick to the finals!! and why the hell-o would u give out 6 final exams?? i've never had that many, at mos, pbly 3-4 bc some teachers are jus F'n angelic. well, all my classes decided to do finals, and i'm freaking out. 2 of them aren't comprehensive, but the rest are, like WTF?? who can remember 6 subjects??? well, 2 down, and 4 more to go...and 3 of them are at 8am...i don't function that early, the difference between my tests results in morning and afternoon classes prove it.

DEE's LIL L<3ve~~> it's winter now, or will be, but it sure already feels like it. yes, my ass is numb and frozen since it's 20 degrees. i love to bundle up. i love the look of flushed cheeks. i like that all i need is a nice coat, boots, and pretty face to complete an outfit. and i can repeat it for days. lol. altho it's killer when u're all layered and hiking up a 10-min hill to class, 7:30 in the F'n morning!! i sweat and huff and puff like no other!! it's embarrassing when ppl around can see how much u're struggling bc they can see the air coming out of ur nose and mouth, and u're trying to look collected too...but i like winter fashion, bc everyone can pull it off!! it doesn't matter if u're fat or skinny, and u don't have to worry about what to wear all the time, AND u don't have to worry about the fat bulges, AHAHHAAHHHAAA.

ok, i'm going to go wash the dishes now. i hate doing it, but it's one of my study-stalling tactics.

since i'll be going home soon, and i only have one winter class, hopefully, i can keep the blog up...maybe.

it's been a minute...

hi.

this blog business is hard to keep up with!! actually, i haven't been feeling too up to snuff, lately. pretty much after my last entry, i had the worst falling out with my best friend in the whole entire universe. i would lay down my life for this girl. but yea, the worst falling out, i think, that u could ever have with ur bff is when u grow apart. when there are no more words, no calls, no hanging out, no seeing each other, no speaking...FOR MONTHS!! yea, months of no communication whatsoever. and the killer thing is that she lives 5 minutes from me. like what kinda shite is that??

if u fight with ur friend, if u guys break up bc u end up hating each other, whatever the situation, u agreed to let each other go--> at least u got closure, u had reasons--u had it out. but when there's distance and silence, it's jus painful to be neglected, u start to develop doubts about urself and ur worth in ur friendship. it sucks bc u feel like such a pathetic child dependent on its mother and like some damn lost puppy.

i mean there were reasons, i don't like them, but i think it's pretty universal and it happens. it used to be jus the 2 of us, we've known each other since we were 7-8 (she's a yr older), but we didn't click til going to the same high school, we did nails together, the weekends were our play days, we called each other for random reasons (ok, that's jus me), we didn't do the whole 3-24 hr convo on the phone, bc we saw each other enough. we went thru all sorts of issues together and a bunch of firsts. i got a boyfriend, but i still spent time with her as i normally do. then she got a boyfriend, and he jus gradually replaced me. and it hurts. it's been 4 yrs since they've been together, and i think i've been officially replaced. we've never fought before, and when we eventually did fight the few times, it was bc i brought it up and it hurt her (and me) and i jus couldn't find the heart to persue it (and her) anymore. she kinda doesn't have much to say on it either. we're on different paths and completely different schedules now too. i'm not that naive to think she'll be with me like in the good ol' days but i didn't think that i'll ever stop feeling like a best friend. which sucks butt like no other!!! we're both very independent!! we are so alike in so many ways, we are like sisters from different mothers, and like an old married couple, we look like each other!! lol. so it's really sad. u kno, it's kinda like i'm the girlfriend and she's the distant, non-communicative boyfriend, and i was beginning to nag, and i don't want to. funny thing is, i'm the boy in my relationships and she's the girl in hers. how did that happen?? boys can't get enough of me, hahahahaaa.

but i've learned to let go and let things take its course, but it jus sucks butt bc the feeling jus gets so damn worse!!! i think in a way, it was bc i used to give so much in my relationships (friends/family/lovers), then i got burned and i became mistrustful. if a relationship doesn't benefit me in any way or that i would gain very little or lose a lot, i don't encourage or put much effort into it (i'm nice about it tho, ^_~), harsh and cynical, isn't it?? i've become a very paranoid person. i'm more outgoing and all and make friends easily now, but i have to put it all on a scale and weigh the pros and cons out, crazy, eh?? well, she was the person i thought who was my equal and the person i knew would always have my back in all things, and come to my rescue when i try to save myself, but ended up with a deflated life jacket--i call her. but it's not like that anymore. i've been put on the back burner so many times for the boy, for other friends, and so many other excuses (a few i found out were lies, broke my heart that she lied to me).

but anywho, i think i'm suffering from the second biggest heartbreak of my life. i'll recover, but it's going to take this one a few years too, i'm thinking. ugh.

in other notes, i'm officially jobless. the first time i've been unemployed since i was 17. all bc i transferred to another university. it's also the first time i've ever been away from home. first apartment. first time worrying like shit over bills beside my credit card. did i mention i'm jobless?? but my parents are being very generous, even tho they fought tooth and nail for me to stayed chained in the basement (no tower for this damsel in distress, i'm princess charming). yup. transferred on impulse. applied in july. accepted and tranferred in august. and here i am. in the middle of fucking no where knowing fucking no one. what the fuck was i thinking??? but what's done is done, and i'll do it all over again. this birdie wants to grow up as an airplane corporation. lol. goodness knows, i'm homesick as hell, mix cabinfever with that, and a dash of brokeass-ness, this jus sucks butt. but it's only the beginning, once i adjust (i don't think i ever will, but all the same), i think this is the adventure i was looking for. and no i ain't going to get all apeshit crazy--ppl quit thinking i will!! i'm jus going to do a bit of experimenting and sampling...lol!!!

i think the whole blog kinda counts for one several issues.

DEE'S LIL L<3ve--> the peace and quiet u could find no where else but in ur own place. besides all the sickness i have, i really do appreciate my privacy now, this is like the ultimate no interruptions.

isn't it crazy i can't come up with a better love?? but it was what i was jus thinking at the moment. would really like to go home this weekend, but i gots some school activities to do...boo. dyed my hair for the first time ever by myself, and afraid like shit that i'll end up with spots. normally i go to my lady of 2 years, but she's back home, and i jus can't find the time to go back, and damn roots were 3 inches (my hair grows extra fast). i was going for a medium mahogany brown, but this shit came out a very dark brown, almost black!! it looks like my natural hair color but too damn dark!! well, i guess i don't have to worry about dying my hair any more, altho i wanted to experiment some more...o well.

but i'm tired now. dude, can't i ever write short posts everyday or something?? maybe i'll get into the swing (better than hang) of things. laterz.

uneventful day

DEE'S ISSUE--> i hate it when u ask someone something and they make up some excuse rather than tell u the truth. then when the truth is revealed, it really hurts the other person. if u really do feel the need to lie (sometimes i do), at least make sure u wouldn't get caught, but u shouldn't have in the first place anyway. i kno it sounds hypocritical (i am that at times) but i really do try not to lie (i'm not as honest as i used to be, i realize) and i do do it when i kno i wouldn't get caught (esp with ppl i'll not likely see again)~~(>_<). i am really hurt right now but at the same time i kno i don't have much right to be, but it jus sucks.

DEE'S LIL L<3ve--> i found a new love!! contact paper aka--> old school shelf liner. yep, my friends, i learned how to make wall decals with them!! yea, baby!! be on the look out for what i can churn out. i jus need to find/order different colored contact paper, esp the black. i found white and silver at lowe's...but it wouldn't make much sense if i have white walls, right??? i'm thinking a big ass tree or big ass flowers. i wanna put my silhouette somewhere also (is that creepy??).

i'm in a real foul mood so that's all for today.

NEGLECTFUL

i'm such a bad blogger. i really don't kno why i even bother bc i knew i was going to be like this and no wonder none of my friends even bothered to follow, lol.

(=_=) well, i'll try harder...i mean, i remember every now and then that i should post something (and i even took tons of nail art {toes} pictures for a whole, straight week). i'm so lazy. well, short, consistent posts are better than once a month long ones anyway, right?? and who really wants to hear my ramblings anyway?? lol, for reals, after every post, i realize how much crap i wrote and i don't even want to go back and read them bc it's a bunch of nonsense anyway. i started a blog to document my nail art, hoping to keep it up and watch it grow and all that, but obviously it didn't work out and i'm still feeling uninspired and unmotivated to come up with some crazy things~~and i kno i have skills too, not madd awesome competition skills, but fun to look at enough. and no, this blog is not going to be all about beauty, bc i really don't kno much about it except that i do apply it to beautify myself before i face the world, hehehe. so far, i think i'll showcase nails, a bit of beauty (i do the same ol, same ol, anywho), my crafts, my lil obsessions, a lot of my rants and ramblings (buddha spare u all), and hopefully i jus want to connect with other ppl.

so i'm in summer school. i'm taking a microbiology class and lab. i jus took a test last week and 2moro i will do a lab practical...i actually like microbio, i find all this sh*t--that freaks my germaphobe-self--fascinating! E. coli and salmonella are my friends. but they reek.

i jus sealed the deal on a MAC haul online, right after i caught the 25% discount virus. i really shouldn't have spent any money bc i will be transferring schools hopefully this fall and finally leaving the proverbial nest. {praise buddha} i've been pretty good on not swiping the debit card but apparently i've lost it this week...usually if i've deprived myself, i'll eventually go all out...{sigh}...(TT__TT)

DEE'S LIL L<3ve--> fruits--> random. i jus polished off a basket of cherries! they were expensive, but i love fruits!! finished a basket of strawberries the other day. my house love fruits, and when they're in season, we buy them by the crates, i kid u not. last time was coconuts (boxes and boxes of them, before that were oranges, now it's mangoes, and it's going to be about the watermelons soon. YUM. (^_^)

DEE'S ISSUE--> i don't understand this dreary weather, it's been raining like earth's inhabitants needs purification from all their sins (good one, huh?). i went out and bought myself a pair of rainboots at target after i left class and finally reached my car soaking wet. the only style target had were black boots with rainbow polka dots. i don't kno if i'm really feeling them, but for the most part they're jus a pair of rain boots to me.

i also bought a fabulous maxi dress!! i will have to take a picture and sho it another day. for now i must take off and study for my lab practical, i've stalled long enough. i think i might nap...no...bc then i wouldn't wake up...ugh. toodles~~<3

oh, i guess i should post one of those nail art photos i took, i'll post them all up eventually. i really should do a tutorial. and yea...i never did enter any contests. i did do the purple look but it didn't turn out the way i thought, and it esp clashed w my hair.

long days @ work turns my brain into jell~0...

yea...so i've been trying to get my martha stewart on minus the cooking and cleaning...i've been crocheting the first 3 steps of a pattern for the nth time in 2 days. it took me like 3 hrs jus to figure how to read the instructions, to get the first 3 stitches, and blah, blah blah.

DEE'S LIL L<3ve--> on other ladies' blogs, i see the amigurumi dolls they make, and i'm jus soo amazed!! bc i kno it must've been hard, hell, i can barely get past the 2nd row while making a scarf! but while i was damaging my wallet and credit score in the craft store i saw a amigurumi how-to book and they were of lil 8-inch animal plushies--so cute!! i also nabbed another amigurumi how-to book on bigger plushies. now why do i even want to try?? bc i love giraffes and sheep!!! the giraffe was in the mini how-to book, and the sheep was in the bigger book, but i'm sure i might be able to figure out how to add a few things to the mini-hippo to turn it into a sheep...

DEE'S ISSUE--> but the problem is, the book is like in a secret code or something!! ok, it's my fault really, bc i really should have bought a beginner's book first and make an F'n scarf like the noob i am. the book rates each project on a scale of bars from easy to hard, and for the most part, every one of the plushies are easy, but everything is abbreviated!! so i have no F'n idea what's going on and i don't even kno the terminology for anything! so i really do need to make sure i kno my basics before jumping in head long...

yea, so this was jus an update to see where i am. so i read beauty blogs, basically bc i want to read ppl's reviews on things, and the next thing u kno i run out and buy it. (--__--) but since now i have a blog also, i can join the contests these ladies have, {1} bc it's fun, {2} it'll be nice to make some new buds, {3} PRIZES--nuff said. lol. but ultimately, it'll be fun to do a contest and to make new friends, esp since my current friends aren't obssessed w makeup the way i am. so it'll be nice to talk makeup-speak with ppl who understands, lol. there's a contest out for purple and a cosplay one, i think i'm going to do both...i need to look for inspiration and do some experimenting in the meantime.

yup.